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Literary Rules for Life
– 16th April 2012

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When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty I read them openly. When I became a man I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up. ”
-CS Lewis

And the same goes for me in spades…

Having passed the half century mark a while ago, I don’t find it necessary at all to be dignified or proper or manly or absolutely anything at all.  I delight in silliness, like a kid that never grew up. I laugh out loud at the most improper, un-PC  humor although I still prefer clever, sharp witty dialogue to  puerile fart jokes and juvenile scatalogical references.

I find the Hello Kitty clan and it’s second cousin Hello Titty both amusing.
Though not as much as this:

That picture of Sean Connery above makes me really ROTFLMAO
– whilst dribbling and snorting in delight…

I love all these old farts, although George Carlin is now in the Old Comedy Store in the sky (Btw –  if you haven’t, you should watch his routine on religion – makes me cry – for happy).  I find Billy Connolly hilarious – my wife thinks he’s a potty-mouth, but I just love him.

Parkinson’s Last Show Interview with Billy Connolly (Hilarious – Full Version)


….and here’s why Billy Connolly and his political uncorrectness rocks – it’s as un-pc as you can get:

George Carlin: “Don’t be afraid of getting old, it’s a great time in your life. You can take advantage of people and you’re not responsible for anything…”


A humorous commentary on aging with some thoughtful suggestion about how to keep a youthful perspective while growing older and said to have been created by comedian George Carlin. There is no proof at all of this, although similar material appeared regularly in his routines. However, it was the philosophy he used in his shows and would be kinda typical of him.



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George Carlin’s VIEWS ON AGING
Do you realize that the only time in our lives when we like to Get Old is when we’re kids? If you’re less than 10 years old, you’re so excited about aging that you think in fractions. “How old are you?” “I’m four and a half!” You’re never thirty-six and a half. You’re four and a half, going on five! That’s the key.
You get into your teens, now they can’t hold you back. You jump To the next number, or even a few ahead.
“How old are you?” “I’m gonna be 16!” You could be 13, but hey,you’re gonna be 16! And then the greatest day of your life . . you
Become 21. Even the words sound like a ceremony . . YOU BECOME 21.

But then you turn 30. Oooohh, what happened there? Makes you Sound like bad milk! He TURNED; we had to throw him out.
There’s no fun. Now, you’re just a sour-dumpling. What’s wrong? What’s changed?
You BECOME 21, you TURN 30, then you’re PUSHING 40. Whoa! Put on the brakes, it’s all slipping away.
Before you know it, you REACH 50 and your dreams are gone.

But wait!!! You MAKE it to 60. You didn’t think you would!
So you BECOME 21, TURN 30, PUSH 40, REACH 50 and MAKE it to 60.
You’ve built up so much speed that you HIT 70!

After that it’s a day-by-day thing; you HIT Wednesday!
You get into your 80s and every day is a complete cycle; you HIT lunch; you TURN 4:30; you REACH bedtime. And it doesn’t end there.

Into the 90s, you start going backwards; “I Was JUST 92.”
Then a strange thing happens. If you make it over 100, you become a little kid again. “I’m 100 and a half!”
May you all make it to a healthy 100 and a half!!

George Carlin: HOW TO STAY YOUNG
1. Throw out nonessential numbers. This includes age, weight and height. Let the doctors worry about them. That is why you pay “them ”

2. Keep only cheerful friends. The grouches pull you down.

3. Keep learning. Learn more about the computer, crafts, gardening,whatever. Never let the brain idle. “An idle mind is the devil’s workshop.” And the devil’s name is Alzheimer’s.

4. Enjoy the simple things.

5. Laugh often, long and loud. Laugh until you gasp for breath.

6. The tears happen. Endure, grieve, and move on. The only person, who is with us our entire life, is ourselves.  Be ALIVE while you are alive.

7. Surround yourself with what you love, whether it’s family, pets, keepsakes, music, plants, hobbies, whatever. Your home is your refuge.

8. Cherish your health: If it is good, preserve it. If it is unstable, improve it. If it is beyond what you can improve, get help.

9 Don’t take guilt trips. Take a trip to the mall, even to the next county; to a foreign country but NOT to where the guilt is.

10. Tell the people you love that you love them, at every opportunity.

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.

Enjoy your Monday!

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Thanks - Harry Neelam

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